Ashes
by DarkNightsDeepThoughts
Summary: Tobias and Tris have been married happily for four years. Until Tris gets sick. Is it just the flu? Are the initiates worth it? What will become of this family? No war.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own anything Divergent, as much as I wish I was the immortal genius that is Veronica Roth. I am going to finish writing this completely, and then going to post it in chapters, so hopefully no one will have to wait that long for chapters. No war. Al, Will, Natalie, **_**ALLEGIANT SPOILERS!**_** Uriah, Tori, and Tris are back. I am also using the movie-version initiation (ten weeks, and twenty initiates make it) simply for the sake that it makes my story flow better. As much as I always like to stick to the story, it would make more sense for this particular time for me to do it this way. As always, happy reading!**

_**M**_

**Tris POV**

I awoke with the light pouring in through the window, and onto the white, crisp sheets of our bed. I slowly turned on my side to look at Tobias. He was on his back, with a hand behind his head, his mouth slightly open. He opened one eye, and gazed at me.

"Watching people while they sleep is a little creepy."

He said with a chuckle as he turned his head and opened both his eyes. I sit up on my elbows and lean over his chest, kissing him. I feel him smile, and he puts one hand on the small of my back, the other on my hair. The kiss deepens.

"Ahhhhh!"

We hear a yell, and suddenly, Tobias pulls me to the side and whips out the gun beneath his pillow. I grab at the comforter, hiding my bare chest.

"Uriah what the hell!?"

Tobias yells at him, an arm still thrown in front of me, protectively. Uriah still stands there gasping, and hand over his eyes.

"Nothing. I didn't see anything. It didn't happen, if I didn't see it!" He tells himself.

"We weren't doing anything!" Tobias points out, but by the look on Uriah's face, he thought that something was happening. After all, neither of us are wearing any clothes.

"Uriah, what are you doing?"

I ask, my heart pounding.

"Christina and Will and Zeke and Shauna and Al are all outside with cake. We were gonna wish Tris a happy surprise birthday."

"Oh." I say. I had almost forgotten that it was my birthday. It was also Choosing Day.

"Oh right. Happy birthday." Tobias says, smiling seductively at me. He leans in and kisses me, and I take a handful of the edge of the comforter and put it on the back of his neck.

"Okay, you know what, I'm leaving. We will celebrate your birthday at lunch or something!"

Uriah says, throwing his hands up in the air and leaving the room. I laugh at the look on his face, and only break the kiss when I hear the door close.

"Tobias, he _is _right, we do have to go to the ceremony. And then train initiates."

I groan, and then heave back the comforter, swinging my legs over the side or the bed and stretching. I walk past the end of the bed, and over to Tobias' side. He had rolled back over on his back, and had his eyes closed.

"Tobi-as!" I said. Throwing my head back and laughing.

"You do have to get up _sometime_, you know that, right?"

He mumbles something, but I just shake my head and walk towards the bathroom.

"I'll be taking a shower!" I yell over my shoulder.

The wind rustles my hair and my clothes, sending a chill through me. The next time I ride this train, there will be a new batch of initiates behind me, their hopes high, and a determined look on their faces. But only twenty of them will make it. Over the past four years, Tobias, Will, Zeke and I had let go over forty initiates. And people wonder why I avoid the factionless sector.

My feet hit the ground, hard, and I stumble a few steps before regaining my balance and walking to the edge of the roof. I turn around, and a group of twenty seven initiates stand before me, seventeen of them clothed in Dauntless black, the rest in varying faction colors. This is the only year that _I _ have taught that someone didn't fall to the pavement below. I have to admit, that's the worst part of initiation for me.

"Welcome, initiates!" I call.

"You have just passed your first test of bravery. This is the member's entrance to the Dauntless compound. Don't jump here, and your out, so I suggest to you that you suck it up if you want to truly become Dauntless."

I say, turning to the edge, and stepping up onto it. The initiates crowd to the edge, the Dauntless sixteen year olds pushing their way to the front. They see the concrete hole beneath them, and I hear a collective gasp from the group.

"You want us to _jump?!"_

One of the Erudite transfers asks incredulously.

"Yes." I say calmly.

"I'll go first!"

One of the Dauntless cries out. She shoulders her way to the front and takes a deep breath, smiling at me. Her name is Narmeen, and she is the eldest daughter of Shauna and Zeke. She has her fathers sloppy brown hair, but her mothers eyes. She is effortlessly beautiful, and I see the transfer boys in the back craning their necks to get a better look at her. She steps confidently onto the edge of the building, looking at me, and smiling again. She looked straight ahead, and held up a finger declaring:

"If I die doing this, avenge my death!"

She said to no one in particular, and leaped. We heard he screams of joy over the wind, and then they stopped. The rest of the initiates followed suit, until the last Candor girl had jumped, and landed safely. Tobias had skipped this part, and jumped off the train in front of the glass building, because A. he hates heights, and B. someone has to be at the bottom of the net to help the initiates out.

Once the initiates had been given a tour and sent to the dormitories, Tobias dismissed them for lunch, and then led the entire group, Dauntless born and transfers, to the cafeteria. About half way through lunch, Uriah, Will, Christina, Zeke, Al and Shauna walked in, carrying a large, chocolate, Dauntless cake. Uriah walked over to the light switch, and shut off all the lights.

"EVERYBODY QUIET!"

he yelled, and everybody in the cafeteria went silent. Then he and the others started singing.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…".

Soon the entire cafeteria had joined in. Once the celebration was over, and the cake cut, everyone was sitting at our table, eating cake.

"Happy birthday, Tris."

Tobias's breath tickled my ear, and he said it just low enough so that I could hear it.

"To Tris!" Christina called out, raising her glass to the center of the table.

"Your twentieth year has come and gone, and with it brought your fourth batch of initiates, marriage, better cake, better fashion choices, and much more fun than anybody should be allowed to have. You ended the second decade of your life with a bang, girl."

Tobias suppressed a smile and looked down at his lap, then back me. I rolled my eyes at him, and turned back to my group of friends.

"To Tris."

Christina said, with a gleam in her eye, and a smile on her face. They all toasted, and I blushed, feeling like this was not necessary. I also felt like a bad friend for not doing this for _their _twentieth birthdays.

"Thanks guys. Y'all are the best!" I say raising my glass to them, and downing the rest.

That night, as I lay next to Tobias, his hand draped across my waist, and my head on his shoulder, I thought about what my twenty first year would bring. This batch of initiates (my fifth), kids?, _Even _better cake? I had no clue. I sighed, and adjusted my position on Tobias. I don't have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life for a long time. I just want to enjoy it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! Thanks for all the follows! So I am going to go ahead and tell you right now, there are nine chapters, but most of them are close to one thousand words. I hate to be one of those people, but I am going to wait until I get three reviews on this chapter until I post the next one. I just want to se what you guys think. As always, happy reading!**

**_M_**

"The first stage of initiation is primarily physical. You will learn how to fight your enemies, and how to win."

Tobias told the transfers. He demonstrated a series of punches, and then all the transfers went to different punching bags, and started trying them out for themselves.

We had ten transfers. There were five from Candor, three girls: Annie, Claire, and Callie and two boys: Luke and Alfred. Then we had three from Erudite, two boys: Robert and Blake, and one girl: Lucy. There was only one Abnegation: David, and one Amity: Ava. I could tell that the three girls from Candor were going to be a handful, because they kept looking over at Four and whispering about him. Whenever they needed help, Four would send me over there to help them, much to their disappointment, but I think he did that on purpose.

"Four, would come tell me how to do this punch? It's really confusing me, and Tris isn't helping that much."

I raise my eyebrows, but don't say anything. Four gives me a look that asks why he ever signed up for this job, but goes over to them anyway. I know that Tobias hates when girls do that, but as we pass each other, he touches my shoulder lightly, and I know not to worry.

"Oh my freaking god, I am going to KILL myself."

Christina says, her face in her hands, staring at her piece of toast with fierceness in her eyes that should really not be spent on toast.

"Please don't."

Will says, taking a break from his eggs.

"It is the fourth fucking day in the first fucking week of a ten week fucking initiating!"

Christina tells us. I look at Tobias with my eyebrows raised.

"Why didn't I do transfers with you guys? Dauntless initiates are driving. Me. Crazy!"

Christina says, still staring at her toast.

"Well at least you don't have the girls swooning over your husbands every move."

I say, turning back to my oatmeal. Tobias looked at me, his cheeks flushing.

"They don't _swoon."_

He said, looking at me. It was lunchtime, and Annie and all her little pals had been extremely obnoxious lately.

"Well good thing that the physical training will be over in a couple days. Then we get to put them through simulations, and watch them squirm!"

I say with a mischievous glint in my eye.

It was around seven o'clock, and Tobias and I were in the bedroom, talking about the simulations and the rankings for stage one and just kissing and talking like normal. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I should probably mention that Tobias was only wearing his pants, and I was in navy short shorts with a silk, red, flowy, tank top that showed a lot of my stomach.

"Will you get that, babe?"

I said, turning to him with a huge smile plastered on my face. He looked annoyed, but then smiled and groaned as he pulled himself out of bed and across the room. I heard the door open.

"Who is it?"

I called out to him. I sat up in bed, and scooted down to the end so that I could see the door. Standing in the frame of the door was Annie, and standing behind her was Claire. Though I could not see the side of the door that was closest to the bedroom, I could make a safe bet that Callie was there too. How do they know where we live? I got up, and slowly walked out the bedroom towards to door. As far as I knew, none of the initiates knew that four and I were together, and I wanted to see the shocked look on their faces. I walked up to Tobias, and, pretending to neither know nor notice who was at the door, innocently asked,

"Who's at the door?"

Tobias had one hand on the door, holding it open, and the other on his hip, looking annoyed at the girl's presence. The girls faces, however, were trained on the sole fact that their hot instructor did _not _have a shirt on. He turned to me, his eyes suddenly lighting up. The girls took their time turning their faces away from my husband's bare chest, but when they did, the look on their face was priceless.

"Uh..um..hey, hello, uh Tris."

Annie stuttered, taken aback by the fact that her two instructors were married.

"Anything I can help you with?"

I ask as sweetly as I can, standing beside Tobias. He has not looked away from me since I walked into the room. As if to prove a point to the nosy sixteen year olds, he wrapped his arms around my waist, and started to kiss my neck, slowly. The Three Musketeers were very taken aback and stunned by this, but I continued as if nothing was happening.

"Um..yeah, I was just wondering, we just needed some help on…"

"Fighting."

Claire improvised for her friend.

"We, uh, we're here for fighting."

What liars.

"Sorry, guys, but I'm not allowed to give help to you guys after lunch, so if you want help, you can come ask me tomorrow before your guy's fights. I can give you the tips then; at least we'll know whom your fighting at that point, so I can be more specific. Well, I think you guys can show yourselves out."

At that point, I turned to Tobias and kissed him back, hard. He lifted me onto to the island that separated our kitchen from the doorway. We kissed passionately, trying to scare the hell out of our initiates. We both pulled back as soon as the door closed.

"Good acting."

Tobias said, moving his hands from around my waist to my shoulders.

"Not bad yourself."

I hopped down from the counter and walked around the island to get some orange juice from the fridge.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait for the update… there were some horsey problems that I had to be present for. Well not really a problem…but a NEW BABY! The foal is my friend's, and Henry is the sire, and he is ADORABLE! Anyway, the updates will come quicker next time. Also, don't forget to PM me with story ideas! Really in the Divergent mood right now, so don't hesitate! Love y'all. As always, happy reading!**

**_M_**

I awake with a horrid feeling in my stomach. I run to the bathroom, and get there just in time. I throw up into the toilet, feeling worse by the second. I hear the door to the bathroom creak open.

"Tris."

Tobias says. He kneels on the tile floor next to me, one hand on my back.

"I woke up and you weren't there. I heard you in here. You okay?"

I nod my head, even though it is more to reassure myself than him.

"I'm fine."

I croak. I get up, and wash out my mouth with water. I groan as I clutch my head.

"Should we get the doctor?"

Tobias asks, with a concerned look on his face.

"No."

I tell him.

"It's probably the flu. Uriah had it two weeks ago, now the bastards given it to me."

I muster as much as a chuckle as I can, and slowly trudge back into the living room. I flop down on the couch unceremoniously and put a hand to my head, the pain suddenly sharp. Tobias sits next to my head, his hand stoking my hair.

"I'm just gonna sleep here."

I tell him.

"I don't want to get you sick. Plus you have that representatives meeting tomorrow."

He is silent for a few seconds.

"No. Come to bed, Tris, I'll skip the meeting if I have to. You don't have to get up and train initiates. Come on."

I don't resist. I let him pick me up, and carry me back to the bed, where he lays me gently down, then crawls in beside me.

The morning is even worse. I head throbs, and I can't see straight. The nausea is still there, but this time I don't feel like someone is twisting my intestines together. I am so tired, I don't even bother to realize the fact that it is way to light in our bedroom for it to be six o'clock in the morning. I groan, and roll over, looking for Tobias. But the bed is cold. This makes even my cloudy head alert. I sit up, which I realized was _not_ a good idea as soon as I did it, but I continue to push myself until I am up. I wait for the room to stop spinning before looking around. The bedroom door is closed. I will have to get up to open I it. I groan inwardly. Nevertheless, I swing my legs over the side and drag my feet to the door, swinging it open. Our apartment is empty. I go to the kitchen, looking for something other than cake to fill my empty stomach. There is a note on the counter with a muffin on the top; it is in Tobias' handwriting.

Tris,

I decided not to wake you up this morning, and instead just went to the simulation room with the initiates. I skipped the meeting. Eat the muffin, and take the day off if you're still not feeling better. I told Will, and Christina is happy to take you to the doctor if you want.

Four

I smile, and eat the muffin while slowly, and I emphasize _slowly,_ getting dressed. I grab my keys and stuff them in the pocket of the black pants I am wearing. I grab my knife from on top of the fridge, and shove it in my combat boot, then put the gun from behind the dresser into the waistband of my pants. I walk out the door, and down the hall before taking a right and going down a short back hallway that end within two or three doors. There is a door at the end. I walk up and knock. Christina answers within twenty seconds.

"Tris!"

She says, throwing her arms around me.

"Four told me you were sick. He wants me to take you to the doctor."

"Ugh!"

I sigh.

"I really don't need to I think he's overreacting. It's probably the stomach bug. Uriah had the flu two weeks ago, also. So… yeah. Really, though, don't bother."

She releases me and takes a step back.

"Fine. Are you gonna go to the simulation room with Four, or do you want me to stay with you or what, because it's my day off and there's nothing but the Faction History channel on the TV so legit, anything you need."

She points at herself. I laugh, but shake my head.

" No, I'm good. I think I'm just going to go to the simulation room with T-Four."

I catch myself.

"It is _not_ my day off, and I'm saving my sick days for a long vacation after initiation is over sooo…."

"Well, okay. If you say so. Have fun!"

She says with fake enthusiasm at me. I laugh, and walk away, shaking my head as I go.

I arrive at the simulation room in a couple minutes, walking slowly. I knock on the back door, and the Abnegation transfer, David, walks out, looking very afraid, and slightly shaky. Four is behind him, and almost moves to come to me, before catching himself, and waiting until David had rounded the corner, and was well out of sight.

"How are you?"

He asked, wrapping his arms around me. He pulls back, and looks me in the eye. I know I can't lie.

"I'm…better."

I say. Which is not a lie, just not the whole truth.

"I don't feel like I'm going to throw up every five seconds, but my head is getting worse by the minute."

This time, I get a bout of dizziness and clutch Tobias' arms to steady myself.

"Really? Hey, look at me."

I gaze up into his eyes, and see the worried look on his face.

"Look, I'm fine. I feel like I have the flu, so that's probably just what it is. I just wanted to come see you work, because all I get done at the house is get hot and bored and tired, so I went to Christina's house, but all she wanted to do was take me to the doctor, so I came here."

He sighs.

"Fine."

He says, finally looking down at me.

"But if you feel bad, I'll have to send you home. And I can tell when you're hiding it from me, so don't even try."

He says the last statement with a half smirk on his face, then releases me to put a hand on the small of my back to guide me into the simulation room.

Next up is Alfred. He goes through, and does pretty well, actually. It was very interesting to watch. There was a giant stone that he was forced to hold up, but which was slowly and inevitably going to crush him. He was brave, though, and dropped the stone once he realized that he could not hold it up, letting it kill him.

After Alfred was the Amity transfer, Ava. I hadn't seen her go before, and was slightly curious as to what the Amity were afraid of. Of my four (now five) batches of initiates, she is the only Amity transfer _I _have seen. She stretches out on the chair, and Four moves her hair out of the way. He plunges the syringe into her neck as gently as he can. While we wait for the serum to go into effect, he just looks at me, while I casually lean my head on my arm, trying to get the room to stop spinning. The screen blinks to life, and turn my focus on that, in hopes the world will stop being so spastic.

In the simulation, Ava stands in the apple orchard that I remember only from a trip with my mom when I was little. She spins in place; looking around her for the threat she knows is coming. Once she has done a complete 180, there is a man behind her. Well, not a man, really… a boy. He can't be much older than she is. _What is this fear about?_ I think to myself. He walks slowly toward her, calmly, but the fear in her eyes gives it away. Something is wrong with the boy. They both had the same amber hair and green eyes, and looked enough alike to be siblings. _What's going on?_ The boy is right in front of her now.

"John. Please. Don't."

Her voice shakes, and suddenly I feel for the girl. Then the boy moves. He grabs her hair and yanks her to the side, causing Ava to yelp. He throws her to the ground. He now stands directly over her, and kneels down, and rips the yellow shirt off her small frame. She screams, and then appears to calm herself down enough to scoot backwards, away from John. She stands, and gets into fighting stance. John comes at her, and she doesn't flinch. The screen goes black, and she shoots up in the chair next to us, gasping. Tobias and I look at each other. There is sadness and understanding in his eyes. She was abused.

I walk over to Ava, and kneel by the chair, she looks at me, then calms her breaths and stands up, sliding her hands on her black, Dauntless pants. I put a hand on her shoulder and lead her out into the hallway, and then around the corner and into a back hallway. I turn to her. She looks at the ground and puts her palms to her face, trying to get the blush away from her cheeks. She takes a deep breath, then looks up at me, then back at the floor.

"Hey. It's okay."

I tell her. I put a hand on her shoulder.

"Was he was your brother?"

I ask her quietly. She nods her head.

"Head back to the dorm. Get some sleep…and dinner."

She nods, and then walks down the hallway.

"Ava!"

She turns, and stops walking for a minute.

"That was…brave. Dauntless."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! So this is going to be a shorter chapter, but there are a lot of important things going on. So for those of you who are interested (probably other equestrians) the foal is doing great! He is black right now, but expected to turn white when he gets older. We are just calling him Baby right now, but if you guys have any other name suggestions, I'm open to ideas! Thanks for listening to my rant. As always, happy reading!**

_**M**_

I stare at Christina.

"I really don't think this is the answer."

I say. I stare at the three white sticks in my hand.

"I have the flu! I'm telling you."

Christina just stares at me, her face unsmiling.

"I really think this _is_ the answer."

She says a hand on her hip. I give her a pleading look, but she points her finger at the bathroom. We are in Christina and Will's apartment. I just sigh and go in anyway.

As I place them on the counter to wait, I will myself over and over that it's just the flu. If I'm so sure, why are my hands shaking? I come back out, and stand by Christina.

"Well? Where are they?"

I point to the bathroom.

"I don't want to wait for those things in agony for two minutes, so how about we do something?"

I ask her. She looks a little surprised but nods anyway. We spend the next twenty minutes watching TV, talking and just plain avoiding the unavoidable.

"You know we have to go back in there at some point don't you?"

Christina asks. We are sitting on the couch, running out of things to do to pass the time.

"I know."

I sigh.

"Alright. Let's just do this."

I say. I get up, and walk quickly to the bathroom. Just before I get to the bathroom door, I stop and look back at Christina for reassurance. She is standing up now. She just nods. I walk into the bathroom slowly, and over to the counter. I keep my eyes focused on myself in the mirror. My heart is pounding, and I remind myself that I would never had had to do this if it weren't for Christina and her weird obsession with having to know things. _You're_ _just paranoid._ I tell myself. _Oh my gosh, you are being an idiot. Just do it._ Be brave.

I look down at the counter. _No._ I think. _No!_ _Shit._

I walk back into the main room with must what be a shocked look on my face.

"Oh my God. Really?"

Christina asks, slowly walking over to me. She stops an arms lengths away from me. A slow smile spreads across her face.

"So."

She says. I look up at her, my mouth slightly agape.

"Are you excited?!"

She squeals, and pulls me into a hug. I stiffen, my arms still at my sides. She pulls back, keeping her arms on my shoulders. Her smile fades as she sees the expression on my face.

"Are we…not excited?"

She asks, her words cautious. I try to say something, which comes out as just more air through my mouth, so a clear my throat and try again.

"I mean, no. I'm not!"

I say, looking up from the floor at her. Her hands have left my shoulders.

"I have just… completely ruined my life, as well as To-Fours, and… well…"

I look up, and realized I have been pacing. I put my hands up questioningly.

"Now what?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! How are you? The foal is doing great! Again, if you guys have any name suggestions, I would be open to them, again he is an all black horse but expected to turn white as a yearling. We seriously need to name this horse, and any help would be great. Also (not to spoil anything, it might be for another story later) do you guys have any Tobias/Tris baby names? Also, remember to leave reviews! I'm not posting the next chapter until this chapter gets five reviews! If above five, y'all will get the next chapter early! As always, happy reading.**

_**M**_

I sit on our couch, running my hands through my hair. I have been thinking about this for the past hour. Tobias had said that he wouldn't get back to the apartment until six when we let the initiates go for the day. He had to go back up to the control room because there was some sort of glitch. I try to wipe away the tears that have suddenly accumulated on my face, wiping my cheeks with the backs of my hands. I hear the door open, and I turn my head.

Tobias walks in and sets his keys on the counter, taking his shoes off by the door. He walks a couple of steps before looking up and stopping. He sees the tears in my eyes and the panic on my face.

"Oh my God."

He says, he runs to couch and slides on next to me.

"What's wrong?"

He says. He looks so worried, and his eyes are wide.

"Tris."

He waits.

"Tris. Come on, just…say something. You're scaring me."

I look up at him, and put my face in my hands. Panic has been surging through me since I found out, but now it is blind terror, and it is pulsing through my veins, making my whole body shake.

"You're going to hate me."

I whisper into my hands.

"What? No Tris,"

He scoots in closer, and wraps his arms around me.

"Tris, I would _never_ hate you. Please, just tell me."

I can't will myself to take my head out of my hands, let alone say the actual words out loud. _He's going to hate me._ I think. _What are we going to do? We can barely take care of ourselves!_ I shake uncontrollably as yet another sob racks my body. I can't do this. Before I know it, my breathing is heavy, and I can barely stir up a complete thought.

Tobias just sits, his arms tight around me, looking more and more panicked and more and more confused the longer this goes on. I calm myself, but this time it is hard. Because this is not a simulation, this is real life. I pull my head out of my hands, and look up at Tobias. I probably look a mess. My eyes feel swollen and red, and I'm sure my hair is a bird's nest. I take a couple of deep breaths, and Tobias doesn't rush me, he just sits, waiting, his brow furrowed. I finally look up.

I close my eyes, and try and take another deep breath. Finally, I feel like I am ready.

"Tobias."

He nods, and even though I know that at some point I will have to say it out loud, I wish he could hear my thoughts and just _know_.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God."

Tobias stares at me, his eyes wide, his tone unbelieving.

"Oh…wow. That's… wow."

He retrieves his arms from around me, and puts them behind his head, taking a series of breaths. He moves them to his knees, and looks at me.

"Really?"

He says, his words airy and quiet. I turn away from him, the tears rushing back.

"Oh my God, I _knew_ you'd hate me. Um-"

Tobias cuts me off by grabbing me from behind, and spinning me around.

"Tris,I do _not _hate you. I don't know what made you think that. I would never."

"But-"

I take a deep breath.

"I've just ruined _both of our_ lives! How could you _not_ hate me?"

Tobias takes a deep breath, and looks at me. He sits back down on the couch, pulling me with him.

"Tris. I didn't expect this. But I will promise you one thing. I will support you, _whatever_ you decide to do."

"Great, now it's up to me."

I turn away, but he grabs my arms, and pulls me back to facing him.

"No. That's-"

He takes a deep breath.

"That's not what I meant. I…I just."

He looks down at his hands. When he looks back up at me, I see fear in eyes.

"I don't want to be like him."

He lets go of my arms, and turns to the fireplace.

"Tobias, your not your father."

"Yeah, but what if I turn into him?"

He snaps. I pull back at this sudden mood change.

"You won't. And if you did, I would leave."

I say simply. He looks back up at me, his hands pinching the bridge of his nose. He sighs.

"What are we going to do."

"I don't know."

"What do you _want to _do?"

"Jesus, Tobias, I don't know! This is all sort of new to me to, okay?"

I pull my hands through my hair, and feel Tobias, pry my arms away from my head.

"Hey, let's just… go to bed. We can think about this is the morning."

I let him pull me into bed, and we fall asleep in our clothes, his arm over me protectively, my head on his shoulder.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Soooo sorry for the long time for the update, I had a really busy weekend. There was a horse show and a basketball tournament and all sorts of stuff. So glad people are enjoying it! As always, happy reading!**

**_M_**

The next morning, I see Christina walk into the dining hall, a cheery smile on her face, Will following, slightly sleepy looking, behind her. That morning, neither Tobias nor I said much of anything to each other. I could tell that Tobias was at least a little excited, but quietly; he wanted to see if I was too. I was… not, really. I have no clue how to raise a child! We have decided to keep it though, as long as everything goes well and I'm in good health and such. Well physical health at least, I'm not so sure about the whole mental health thing right now.

Christina crosses the cafeteria, and sits next to me, Will across from her. She has this big grin on her face, and it slowly falls on her face, until it turns into a slightly annoyed look.

"What is your _deal?_"

She asks me.

"Like you find out-"

She lowers her voice to a whisper.

"You're pregnant, and suddenly, you're this big ball of inescapable doom. Like seriously. I would be excited."

That was my last nerve. Ever since we found out, she has been this way, all exited, and then bummed because I am not ecstatic too!

"You know what, Christina?"

Her eyes widen as she suddenly realized that I was about to get in a fight with her.

"All of this time, you've just been chipper and happy about the entire thing, but you know what? I'm not! So get over it! I have no clue about a thing that has to do with children, nor do I want to! I want to be young, and go to parties and drink alcohol, and live a happy life with my husband. I don't want to worry with kids for another ten years! And I'm… for God's sake I'm only twenty one!"

I take a deep breath, and stand up. Taking a final look at the shocked expression on Christina's face, before running out of the dining hall, and up into the glass building. From there, I run outside, and the train has just passed. I can reach the last car. I break into a sprint, and slowly I catch up to the train. With my last remaining ounce of energy, I hoist myself up and into the train car, pulling myself to the back corner. I sit there, my knees up to my chest, just thinking. I know Tobias wants it, but do I?

I ride the train for over an hour. We circle past the fence, past the Amity farms, and then we turn to go back into the city. I ride until we pass the Dauntless compound, and then the Candor and Erudite headquarters. We finally make another turn at the Abnegation end of the city, and have a sudden urge to leap out and run to my family. But that would be cowardice. I have made my decision. I ride the train for another thirty minutes. Then I decide. I will keep this tiny life that is growing inside of me, and even if we totally screw up, Tobias and I, and our kid has a blue Mohawk and tattoos and strange piercings when they're five, who cares? It will be ours. Our child. Our children. It sounds so good in my head.

When I get back to the compound, the sun has set, an eerie twilight has settled on the city. I leap of the train, and land hard on my feet, sending shock through the rest of my body. I hiss in protest, but keep walking, the sensation fading by the second. I open the glass door that leads into the glass building and cross the empty first floor. There are no Dauntless around here this time of night. They are all in the Pit, partying or drinking. The night is free time. I walk down the metal stairs, and across the ledge, slowly descending to one of the slightly lower ledges of the Pit. I walk across it, and then turn when I see our hallway. I don't knock on the door; I simply turn the doorknob, knowing Tobias will have left it open. The door swings open, revealing Tobias on the couch, staring at the flames in the fireplace. He looks up when he hears the door open.

"Where were you?"

He says, he gets up and crosses the room, wrapping his arms around me. I press my face into his shoulder, and we stand there for a minute. After a while, I lead him to the couch, and proceed to tell him about my train ride, and what I was thinking during it. I told him how this is our child, and though neither of us were expecting it, we can both be excited. We can both be good parents.

After a while, he looks up at me and smiles.

"Okay, good. Because I was excited, and didn't want to show it until I knew for certain that you were too. But…I feel like I…don't…_can't_ do this. I feel like I will be the worst to parent to ever graze the earth. I just… want to live up to you. As a person. As a parent, I'm sure. I just, feel like I won't be able to do this."

I take time to consider what he said.

"Well…"

I say, my words cautious.

"I think that you _will_ be a good parent. But you don't have to be. I mean if you don't want to-"

"Tris!"

He says, the loudness of his voice scaring me.

"I would _never- ever_ leave you. Especially not at a time like this, when you need me."

He makes gestures with his hands, expressing his words with actions.

"I can't believe you would ever think that."

His voice softens.

"I just… am clueless."

He continues.

"I have no idea what to do. But I do know what _not_ to do, so I hope that getting as far away from that style of parenting will do alright."

He chuckles a little, and his hand cradles the side of my neck, my jaw. We both are smiling, and in that moment, I knew this would all turn out all right.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews...can we get it to 50? Keep it coming! So just to keep y'all with the flow, we have decided to name the foal (aka baby horse) Isaac. So yeah. This chapter is a little sad, and some people may love it, and others may hate it, but review anyways! This chapter also kinda has an awkward ending. Sorry! Next chapter will be up tonight if you guys can get this to 40 reviews. ;) As always, happy reading!**

_**M**_

*Eight weeks later*

"Okay, initiates. Welcome to the last Stage of initiation. We will call you up by name, at which time you will proceed here."

Tobias points at the floor where he is standing.

"You will be injected with the fear landscape simulation, and you will go into the room. Out here, you can see the reactions of your fellow initiates, but only we can see what they are facing. Don't go to far, and keep the noise to a dull roar so that you can hear who is being called."

Tobias clears the circle, and joins me in the doorway of the room, where the other leaders are setting it up the connections so that we are able to see the simulations.

"Luke Serabec."

I call out. Luke walks up. He has been ranked first initiate since he arrived in the Dauntless compound. And no one had tried to stab him with a butter knife…yet. After Tobias injects him with the serum, he walks up to the door, and exchanges a nervous smile with his friend, Blake. Then he walks into the room. Tobias comes into the observation room and sits down, attaching the electrodes to his forehead. He looks at me, and smiles, before a blank look crosses his face, and his smile fades. He looks straight ahead. It is quite creepy looking, so I decide instead to go look around at the Dauntless born initiates. Zeke is not allowed to be included in the final rankings meeting this year, because he has a daughter in it, but even without him, Narmeen is doing really well. Last I checked she was fourth. She had only dropped one rank since Stage 1.

Christina is freaking out, and trying to everyone to quiet down and stop talking. Yeah, good luck with that. I slowly make my way back across the room, and circle the throng of people, constantly searching for Annie and her little gang. They have a habit of coming up to me and offering me something when I'm alone, without Four. A muffin, drink or soda, which I'm certain they have spiked with something. But I don't see them anywhere. From across the room, I see the door to the observation room open, and I walk across the middle of the room until I reach Tobias. He has another syringe in his hands. He looks around for a while, until his eyes find me, but then he turns to the initiates.

"Okay, we'll need Robert Marsh up next please."

Suddenly, there is a murmur through the crowd, as someone pushes their way to the front.

"Four!"

The voice calls. A man pushes his way to the front of the pack.

"Four! Someone's jumping!"

Tobias drops the syringe and sprints to the metal staircase, the other leaders and I following in his wake. Him being Tobias and me being me, I slowly fall behind, but we dash across the Pit, and are thirty meters from the Chasm when we see who it is. Annie stands on the other side of the railing, looking down into the black waters of the river. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and we all wait in anticipation. We are almost there.

"Stop! Annie!"

Four yells at her.

"Come closer, and I'll jump!"

She screams back, her eyes full of tears. Tobias throws out his arms, stopping me, the leaders, and the small crowd that has followed us. We screech to a halt, everyone catching their breath.

"Annie. Don't do it."

Tobias pants, his hand up cautiously, as if approaching an aggressive dog. She is now crying, and the tears stream down her face, but she doesn't care. Tobias tilts his head at her, trying to tell her with his eyes. He walks slowly forward, one meter at a time.

"Annie."

He says. He is treading on thin ice.

" I'm failing initiation, my own family doesn't love me, and neither do you!"

She screams, the tears slurring her speech slightly. She sniffs; her silent sobs moving her body so much I think she might slip just from the sheer force of it all. Tobias is now ten yards from where Annie is precariously standing. He hesitates.

"Annie, I'm married."

Wrong response. She turns from us, and leaps from the railing into the churning waters below. Four runs forward, grabbing the rail with both hands, looking over the edge. He squeezes his eyes shut, takes a deep breath. He pinches the bridge of his nose; his eyes still squeezed shut. He finally opens his eyes, and puts his hand over the rail. He peers over the edge and takes a deep breath, then turns from the Chasm and walks over to us. He waits expectantly.

"Well? Alright, Tris, with me. I'll need three strong men up here as well. Wait. I'll be back in a second."

I walk with him, as he walks up to a door that leads into a closet. He reaches his left hand out and gropes along the wall until he finds a hook in the dark. He pulls his hand back, bringing a long, hooked rope with him. I follow him back to the railing, where the group of people who were following us were now crowded around the rail of the Chasm. Tobias hands a man I think named Spencer one end of the long rope.

"Hold on to it."

He says. He chucks the rope and the harness like thing on the end into the Chasm.

"Who are my strong people?"

He says, looking around. Three people, including Spencer raise their hands.

"Okay, when I give this rope three tugs,"

He says, pulling on the rope for emphasis,

"Pull her up."

We walk to the passageway that will take us down into the Chasm. As far as I know, only a couple of people know about it. We walk down the sloping, narrow ledge, until we reach the flat rocks. Tobias stops in front of me, so suddenly I almost run into him. He takes a deep breath.

"Alright. Start looking, it shouldn't take too long."

I don't say anything. I know it's not his fault, but it is clear to me that no matter what I do, he will still hold himself responsible for the death of a young girl.

Tobias and I stand next to the railing of the Chasm, while Spencer and two others haul away the body bag. Zeke has already given the speech and addressed that however brave she may have been, she was still an idiot. In nicer words for the deceased, obviously. Lunch was not as festive today. Tobias and I still had to finish testing the initiates, but that went on even after lunch because of the interruption. The rankings will have to be put up tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, so, a lot of people are going to hate this chapter… sorry! Please review, it means so much! I am not posting the next chapter until this chapter gets five reviews. As always, happy reading!**

_**M**_

Zaed

Jackson

Narmeen

Blake

Shane

Robert

Luke

Kaliegh

Alfred

Eva

Rex

Anne

Natasha

Elizabeth

Jake

David

Claire

Celia

Tobias had long since stepped down from the table, and pointed everyone's attention to the screen. The banging on the tables started with the cups, which turned into fists and feet on the stone floor. I clutch Tobias' arm, and look at him, a smile on my face. And soon enough, a small one breaks on his face, too.

I sit up in bed, and look at the clock, a sharp pain in my abdomen. It is almost two in the morning. Then I look down.

"Tobias. Tobias wake up."

I say, shaking his arm. He awakes with a deep breath.

"What?" He mumbles, running a hand over his face before pushing himself up on his elbows.

"I'm bleeding."

I sit on the edge of the train, the wind pushing my hair back, Tobias standing behind me. It is a fifteen minute ride to the city hospital. The train slows significantly more than it does when it reaches the Dauntless compound. I stand, and hop to the ground, easily landing on my feet.

We wait in the waiting room in silence for what seems like eternity before a kind looking woman in Amity yellow calls:

"Beatrice Prior?"

I look at Tobias, and we both stand. I walk forward, and he follows me, before I put an arm on his shoulder. There is confusion and hurt in his eyes.

"I-, I have to this alone."

I slowly turn, and follow the nurse past the double doors and into the hall.

**Tobias POV**

I wait. Hours seemingly go by, while I sit in the waiting room, staring at the double doors. I understand why she went alone, and I'm not mad, but I want to be there for her. The ceiling is white, so is the tile, and the entire place reeks of antiseptic and cleanser. There is nothing to do in the waiting room but wait, and slowly, panic takes over as I contemplate the fate of my future child.

The double doors open a couple of times, but none of them happen to be Tris. There are people on crutches and in wheelchairs, people with casts and bandages, even a couple with a newborn baby in their arms.

_That could have been us._

Is all I can keep from thinking. Eventually the doors open, and Tris walks into the waiting room. Her face is streaked with tears, and she is wearing a hospital gown, with a bracelet. Her clothes are in a bag hanging at her side. I stand up, and in a few short strides have her in my arms. She clutches at my back, sobbing into my chest. I put a hand on her hair, kissing her shoulder. I lift my head, and nod at the nurse behind her. She gives me a small, sad smile, and leaves.

**Tris POV**

I leap of the train, my feet crashing into the ground. I don't stumble. I quickly walk to the glass building, flinging the door open and almost jogging across the room.

"Tris!"

Tobias yells after me. His long stride catches up to me quickly.

"Tris, wait."

I am now down the stairs, and halfway across the ledge that leads off to our hallway. I continue at my fast pace, tears blurring my vision. I wipe them off on the back of my hand angrily. I stop at our door, Tobias catching up to me. I keep my back to him.

"Congratulations, you're off the hook."

I say before opening the door, slamming it behind me, and locking it. I know Tobias doesn't have a key.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, wow you guys review fast! So this is that last chapter… this wasn't a very long story. I am hoping to publish I few more stories in a couple of weeks, just give me time to write them. Check in often! This has been a much more successful story than I could have ever hoped. Thank you guys so much, and let's try to get this story to fifty reviews by the end of it's career! See you at the bottom! As always, happy reading.**

_**M**_

Tobias POV

"Congratulations you're off the hook."

She opens the door, and slams it behind her. I hear the lock turn. Her words hit me like a punch in the chest. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I turn around, and put both hands behind my head. I walk to the end of the hallway, and then to the edge of the ledge that falls deep into the Pit. I know she won't open the door. But I turn on my heel and walk back to our door anyway. I look at the door for a moment, then turn, and slide down the wall to the floor. And there I sit.

Tris POV

It was hard to sleep without the warmth of Tobias. On my own, I was cold and uncomfortable. I keep my eyes closed for a moment, hoping that the events of the past night would vanish in my head. No such luck. I open my eyes, and blink until the room comes into focus. I slept on the couch, since I needed to buy new sheets: the others are ruined. I see the door, and wonder where Tobias went. I am still wearing the hospital gown, but I get up and stretch. It aches deep inside me, so I stop, and instead walk slowly to the door. I stand there for a minute, contemplating just locking myself in here until I run out of food. But then I reach out and my hand turns the knob. There is Tobias, sitting against the wall, head resting back. Has he been here the whole night? I kneel next to him.

"Four. Four wake up!"

I whisper. He jumps at the sound of my voice, and then slowly pulls himself up, bringing me with him. I just look at him. We get some stares in the hallway, but I don't care. He puts his hands on my shoulders, and then pulls me into a hug. After a couple of seconds, he pulls back and kisses me lightly on the head, before we turn to walk back into our apartment.

"Tris!"

Christina runs up to us, and puts a hand over her mouth in shock at the hospital gown I am wearing.

"Oh my god, what happened? Are you okay?"

She glances between us, panic and confusion on her face, but I just turn and walk into our apartment. I don't want to talk about it right now. I turn and walk into the bathroom. Neither Tobias nor Christina tries to follow me. I leave Tobias to tell her what happened.

After a while, Tobias knocks on the door.

"Tris."

He says. When I open the door, he is leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Really. Not just…saying that. I guess."

He looks at the floor.

"I'm sorry about what I said…and did last night. I was just angry. At myself. I guess."

He looks up and nods.

"Yeah I know. Don't be, though. It wasn't your fault."

As much as I don't want to, a small smile creeps up on my face. Tobias looks at me, his eyebrows raised, a slight smirk appearing on his lips.

"What?"

He says with a chuckle. I sigh contently.

"Enough. Enough now."

**A/N: So there it is! I hope you guys enjoyed the story! I know there are going to be some people who might not like the ending, but I am working on a story where there **_**are**_** kids. And I also think that this story is different because it is not Tris and Tobias having the Best Time Ever. Don't forget to review and follow! I hope you enjoyed! As always, happy reading.**

_**M**_


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